So...The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is On Tonight....

Hi Lovely Readers!

Sorry, I know it's been forever since I've posted! I've been getting all of my products in (finally!), and there has been so much craziness with it! I'm so blessed that I've had so many orders from customers and stores--seriously, I can't believe it. I think most everything will ship by Christmas, so get your orders and wish lists in to me! (kinsey.tolley@gmail.com)

So, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is on tonight. Behati Prinsloo (Adam Levine's wife) has been doing her rounds of promoting the show (like it was necessary?!). I've always loved watching the show, purely from a creative standpoint. How many more wings can they come up with?! Seriously!

But, unfortunately, SO many women watch it and post a Facebook status along the lines of "Ugh, not going to eat for a week and run 10 miles a day!" or "Why, WHY can I not be Adriana Lima?! She's so perfect". I hate it. I hate it SO much that this company gives women unrealistic expectations of their bodies and the way they should look in lingerie. It's like they're saying "Look! Doutzen Kroes had a baby 3 months ago! She looks perfect. Every woman should look like this after having a baby!"--It's such a messed up message. I understand that VS has a reputation and that maybe having a mother with stretch marks and loose skin isn't what they're going for, but I just women would understand that THESE MODELS ARE THE EXCEPTION TO EVERY RULE. EVER. Do you know what?! Adriana Lima may be "physical perfection," but maybe she can't cook the way you can. Doutzen Kroes may have a perfect body after baby, but maybe she doesn't have the opportunity to be with her crying child every night. It's so easy to think physical looks are everything, but let me tell you--there's so much more to it, so much more to who you are.

Please, PLEASE remember how incredible you are. How beautiful your soul is. How caring your heart is. How you can make the best spaghetti of all time. How you can love your child like no one else every could. Those things are so much greater than looking great in lingerie. I promise.

And if all else fails, remember that these models have had food poisoning or the stomach bug at some point, therefore--they've had some really, REALLY unglamorous moments. It definitely makes me feel better. :)

 

Love to you all...so much love to you all.

Exes and Ohs,

Kinsey



Body Image Rant of the Day--Skinny Shaming

Happy Monday Everyone!!

I hope everything is going good in everyone's world! My world is looking pretty darn good right now. After a bump in the road with manufacturing and pricing, I finally found a company to produce my designs, and the best part is that they're in Dallas! So everything Exes and Ohs has been made or will be made in Texas, and I'm so proud of that! Everyone has been asking for a date that I'm going to launch the website and everything, and I wish I could give a better answer. I'm sending materials to the manufacturer this week to get everything started--I'm hoping to have a more definite date for y'all soon. I just don't want everyone to get on my website, spend a million dollars, then have to wait too long for me to ship your items. Just lookin' out for my customers! :)

Once again, this post isn't about Exes and Ohs, but it's about body image (shocker!). If you've been following my posts, you know that God has placed the issue of body image on my heart. I realized lately that I haven't been as equal in my posts as I could be. So I feel the need to explain myself.

Let's get one thing straight: I think body shaming of every type is not okay...and that means body shaming naturally thin people. It's strange to me because people comment on Rachel Zoe and Giuliana Rancic's Instagrams and say "EAT A BURGER! Stop starving yourself! You look terrible!" Why does no one realize that's just as bad as telling a thicker person that they shouldn't eat anything? Skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming.

I hope no one thought I was skinny shaming in any of my previous posts--that would never, ever be my intention. My point with my Victoria's Secret comparisons is that it's not a realistic representation for young girls and women. They idolize models like that who were blessed with a gorgeous face, perfect stomach, and big boobs (and photoshop)...women that were born to be thin, no matter what. What I mean is that the vast majority of women are not born naturally thin--BUT IT'S OKAY IF YOU WERE. There have been days where I wish I was born naturally thin, as have most women! What I would give to eat a big ol' slice of cake and ice cream and not see it on the scale later...:) But please, please know that I think thin bodies are beautiful. I think thick bodies are beautiful. I think every body is beautiful because it's ours...because of what it's capable of...because it's what God blessed us with.

I design for women. Every woman. (Before I hear about this, which I know I will, I do not have plus sizes yet (which I seriously hate the term "plus size." Every size is a size.) It is not for any other reason than the fact that I could not financially do it for my first line. I am charged extra for every size I have for every design I have--that is why my sizes are currently small, medium, and large. I plan on expanding to "plus size" in the future). But one of my BIGGEST pet peeves with this industry is when anything bigger than a size 2 is designed for "Real Women!." What? Size 0's and 2's aren't real women? I was a size 2 for my wedding, so according to some brands I wasn't a real woman? Huh?! My biggest question is why is it in the fashion industry, half of the brands say that you need to be a size 0/2 or else you aren't beautiful, and the other half says that if you're less than a 6/8, you're not a real woman? Why can't we embrace every size? Why can't we say "Hey guess what--YOU'RE GORGEOUS. No matter what size. No matter what age. No matter what." Why is that so hard?

I pray every single day that women can learn to love their bodies, no matter what their body looks like. I want you to love your post baby body! You created a human with it...that's pretty insane. Don't cover up your stretch marks and loose skin. Wear it proudly. If you feel like you have weight to lose, please continue to be positive about yourself and the way you look in the meantime. If you are naturally thin, embrace it. Look at yourself and love your body...it's the one God gave you. And most of all, everyone needs to realize that your outward appearance is truly nothing. God loves you for you--for your heart, your mind, and nothing else.

 

Let's keep on being positive. It's the best thing you can do for yourself! I promise. Positivity is like eating a big cupcake that has all the taste and no calories.

 

Love and prayers to you all--always, always, always!!

Exes and Ohs,

Kinsey

We're Talkin' Exes and Ohs...The Football Kind

Okay I do realize I'm a lingerie designer and that this blog is usually about that: my life as a lingerie designer. But there is one single time a year where I go from feminine, girly designer to a basic, beer drinking, cussing male. That time of year is coming up in about 33 days. Yes....YES...I'm talking about Texas Tech Football (and, well, football season in general).

To say I'm obsessed with football could possibly be an understatement. I'm not a girl who "loves football" to impress guys or to look cute on Facebook. I love football because it's a legit obsession. I guarantee I was the only girl at Stangel dorms my freshman year of college with an autographed picture of Dwayne Slay hanging on my bulletin board, right next to my sorority pictures and fashion designs. Seriously though..Dwayne Slay was everything to me. My senior year of high school he absolutely annihilated Allan Evridge from Kansas State. I think I fell in love a little bit. I mean...there's even a GIF of his hit.

Seriously...does it get better than that? I've even YouTube'd it since then.

I just love football no matter how I can get it. My husband and I have shamelessly watched random football games that some obscure sports station shows in April just to get our fix. I actually walked into our living room a couple of weeks ago and Travis was watching the TiVo'd Holiday Bowl. I even get sad at the 4th on Broadway parade because I hear the drum line and realize it's not football season. Seriously...it's an addiction.

Okay so obviously I'm not a football expert, even though I have won my Fantasy Football League...TWICE (no brag, just fact), but I think there is one MAJOR thing that makes an okay team a top 10 team (Kliff, you listenin' bud?). The offensive line.

(I had to. Who doesn't love Modern Family?)

I have been saying since 2008 (remember 2008? The most glorious year of Tech football ever?) that the offensive line is everything. Let's all be honest: Graham Harrell wasn't exactly Tom Brady. He was probably more like Tony Romo. Before everyone starts crying and throwing things, what I mean is that Harrell was panicky under the least bit of pressure (like Romo). In 2008, Harrell had the offensive line dreams are made of. They averaged out to be the biggest offensive line in football that season (maybe ever?!). They didn't let anyone TOUCH Harrell. I think he stood, glanced at his watch, yawned, and looked down the field at each receiver before he ever had to make a decision as to who he was throwing to. And if the offensive line had any pressure on Harrell, he freaked out, panicked, and threw an interception. Then got a little whiney. (Harrell, if you're reading this...stop crying. You know I'm right.)

So, I will always, 100% say that we were THAT good in 2008 because of our O Line. They were magnificent. Our offense couldn't have been record setting without them. I know I'm leaving out Crabtree, but Crabtree wouldn't have been as great as he was without a quarterback that had 12 days to throw the ball. I KNOW HE WAS STILL AWESOME. EVERYONE CALM DOWN. But really, let's take a moment and just thank the gracious Lord upstairs for Rylan Reed, Louis Vasquez, Brandon Carter, Stephen Hamby, and Marlon Winn--the group of guys that made this girl's heart skip a beat. I loved them all the way I loved Dwayne Slay.

So anyway, I'm pumped. I'm ready for Tech football. I'm ready for Kliff and the team to show us what we're made of this year. I'm excited to see a sold out stadium every week.

Damn...let's all hope these 33 days pass quickly. I'm ready!

Exes and Ohs,

Kinsey

Game Plan Has TOTALLY Changed...

Hey Y'all!

I know it's been forever since I've posted. Things around Exes and Ohs have been busy, but I haven't been able to post much about it. I've been getting in my samples from my incredible manufacturer, WhiteStar Manufacturing out of Austin. Quick plug: They. Are. So. Fantastic. Seriously. My samples have been exactly what I'd hoped for. The fit is perfect, and other than a few cosmetic changes on the design, everything has been wonderful. They're so informative, helpful, and positive. I've never felt like an idiot with questions on a million different things. Designers: GO TO WHITESTAR.

Anyway, a kind of huge thing happened last week. As you all know, my game plan has been to design everything, get samples made, and take them to Dallas Market. Last week, I contacted a rep for another line, just to get some information about Dallas Market. I asked her how many people she usually sees per market. Her answer? 5-9. BETWEEN FIVE AND NINE. What?! I could stand on 82nd and Quaker and see more people that would want to purchase my line. Why on earth would I spend money to go there, to maybe see 1-2 people a day?! The traveling expenses, the hotel expenses, then the market expense? There's no way I could make a profit after all of those things and seeing so few people. So, I changed my mind and my plan.

So, Exes and Ohs will officially be going on the road! I'm going to take my samples to the stores themselves and do trunk shows. I'll also be sending out line sheets, swatches, look books, and anything else buyers may want to help make their decision. Is it a little stressful to have plans change? Yes. Am I worried? Not at all. I have faith in my designs and I have faith in the fact that this entire journey of mine is in God's hands. He's led me to this point...why would He abandon me now? I'm just so thankful that I found out about Dallas Market before signing a contract. I also did research on Curve, which is the MASSIVE market with just about every lingerie brand in the world that shows in New York and Vegas twice a year, and I now have a goal set as to how much money I need to make this first go-around to be able to have a booth in Curve next year. I will have a booth at Curve next year.

God has blessed me with such amazing opportunities, and I know this game changer isn't a surprise to Him. He holds my future in His hands, and that is such a beautiful thing to me. He's blessed me with the ability to design and has placed the subject of body image on my heart. I really want to use Exes and Ohs Intimates as a platform to change women's ideas about the way they look. I've already had a few blog posts about body image, so expect many more.

I pray that you have a beautiful week and that you start thinking more positively about yourself. I look forward to what else is to come on this journey for me and Exes and Ohs! And don't worry...I'll keep you updated. :)

 

 #letsgetconfident

 

Exes and Ohs,

Kinsey 

Social Media...Is It Damaging Your Confidence?

Hi Y'all!

I hope everyone has had a great last couple of weeks! I haven't posted because everything on the Exes and Ohs end is pretty boring. I've been writing letters to buyers to introduce my line to them, as well as working on paperwork for market. But, I'm really excited because I'll get my first few samples in this week from my manufacturer! I'm SOOOO excitednervousanxiouscan'tsleep. :) But this post is about something that's been really heavy on my heart lately!

I wrote a post a month or so ago about Healthy VS. Skinny in the lingerie world (and really in the world in general). I talked about how models bodies are unattainable and can make girls have unrealistic expectations of their own body. But over the last few weeks, I've realized that I don't compare myself to models. I compare myself to other women on social media. I know I can't be the only one. Seriously, how many of you have been scrolling through your news feed and you're like "DAMN! She looks good. Gosh, why can't I have those abs/arms/legs/thigh gap?! I bet she only eats salad. Why don't I look like her? Where's her cellulite? Did she use a filter? Ugh, I'm never eating again! Not until I look perfect in my bikini!". I know I've done it. I've beaten myself up over the fact I've gained weight since my wedding, even though it's mainly been because of health problems dealing with my back and neck (and my love of cupcakes). But I still get embarrassed when a new picture is posted. I get really self conscious like "What is everyone thinking?! Why can't I put a disclaimer on pictures like "Oh hey, I can't work out the way I used to because my neck and back are falling apart?!" Does everyone think I let myself go now that I'm married?". It's a confidence killer for sure. But in the past week, I realized how consumed my mind is by my own negative thoughts.

I finally had the big light bulb turn on that made me realize that I'm not fat, I'm not overweight, and I'm not unhealthy. My body is simply different than it was a year ago, and that's ok. God has blessed me with THE BEST LIFE. Seriously, I couldn't be happier, and I'm ruining it by even caring what anyone else thinks about my body, especially people I went to high school with that haven't seen me in 7 years. There are so many things about me that are absolutely wonderful that have nothing to do with how I look. But I know I'm not the only one who's gone through this social media insecurity. Girlfriends of mine have talked about it and even women on Facebook have posted about it. But seriously girls, let's get it together.

I think the female body is SUCH a beautiful thing. Think about what it's capable of! I know most women get annoyed at their boyfriend/fiancé/husband because he can drop 10 pounds at the drop of a hat by "not eating as much." Either they do that, or they complain about how they need to gain weight. *insert the most dramatic eye roll here* But their body is not even close to being able to do what ours does. We can literally grow and carry a human being around in us for 9 months! How incredible and absolutely beautiful is that?! But unfortunately, most women only see the negatives of their body before, during, and after babies, because we want to look like someone else. But hey I have something to tell you...STOP WANTING TO LOOK LIKE SOMEONE ELSE. God created you to be exactly who you are. LOVE YOURSELF. Love your eyes. Love your curves. Love your flat chest. Love that big ol' booty. Love your stretch marks. LOVE YOUR BODY AND YOURSELF. RIGHT NOW. This very moment. Stop being negative. Look in the mirror and be like "Damn. It is good to be me today! I'm *fill in the blank with something positive*!!" I know it sounds ridiculous and over the top, but there's already so much negativity out there! Why add to it?!

My main goal with Exes and Ohs is that it'll give women confidence. I want you to feel good in front of the person you love. I've designed the panties to have lace waistbands so they don't dig in. I've made the cups of bras to where small or large busts can look AWESOME in them. I did thongs and full coverage undies for different tastes. I kept women in mind when I designed my line. I kept in mind what my insecurities are and what other women have told me they want. Exes and Ohs is designed to make you look good and feel even better.

Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Embrace your body today, no matter what it looks like. And embrace those traits that will never change with your waistline: your personality, your goals, your demeanor, and how you make others feel.

And just FYI, I think the term "thigh gap" is the most absurd thing of life and needs to be deleted from everyone's mind forever.

 

Love to you all!

Exes and Ohs,

Kinsey

 

Blinders. And The Truth.

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Hi Y'all!

I haven't posted in a while, and I apologize! The last week has been pretty crazy for Exes and Ohs. I realized I needed to stop taking my sweet, precious time in getting my tech packs in. It'll take a month to get my first round of samples in to approve, and then another month after that to get my final samples in. I realized that was putting me getting everything in at the end of June if I get it in now! So, I busted my little (or big) booty and got all tech packs sent in yesterday!

I thought I would have a huge sense of relief after sending in my tech packs, but I had an overwhelming combination of emotions--none of which was relief. I was almost in tears (very happy tears) on my way to the post office, praying, thanking God that because of Him, I am on my way to achieving my dreams. But after I left, other feelings set in. I realized that I'm done with the only part of this process that I know how to do. I'm confident in my design ability, in my flats, and being able to relay what is in my mind onto paper, and into the hands of my patternmaker and sample maker, but I'm not nearly as confident in marketing. I started questioning myself and my sales ability: What if no one likes my designs? What if I don't sell them well? What if I take no for an answer, every time? It made me freak out a little and then made me realize that I hadn't let myself feel any part of this process. I've talked about being excited, nervous, anxious-but until yesterday, I hadn't truly felt any of those feelings.

It reminded me of the other night when I was at my in-laws having some good ole venison that Travis killed. Carson, my brother, was talking about how busy he is with the Pie Bar and we just started talking about when he opened his first one three years ago. He said something that I totally identify with: he had blinders on for the months leading up to opening. He said he just concentrated on the "this week I have to paint, next week I have to buy furniture," type things rather than ever fully realizing the gravity of what he was doing. It made me realize--I've had my blinders on for 4 months. I've gone through the steps--illustrating, picking fabric, making flats, doing spec sheets--but I haven't let everything completely sink in. Honestly, I think it's your mind's way of protecting yourself. I mean, I've had moments of barely thinking about the fact that I'm trying to achieve my dream (like yesterday), and it made me have such a rush of every emotion--it was exhausting. I don't think that anyone could go for their dreams and goals if they felt everything--it's too much. You wouldn't make it past the first step. The process scary, exciting, nerve-wracking, overwhelming, wonderful, maddening, and every emotion in between.

So am I thankful for my blinders? Absolutely. But I'm more thankful for 3 family members that have been through what I'm going through, as well as a mom who's been the backbone of the other 3 businesses. I also couldn't imagine my life without Travis. He has faith in me when I don't have it in myself. He helped me get back on track last night after my momentary freak out about everything. He reminded me that God has blessed me with this opportunity--so if I doubt myself, I'm kind of doubting Him. The Lord is in control of this, and I just need to have faith in that.

Here's a little somethin' to help you if you're having the same type of days I am...

 

He's always in control. What a blessing.

 

I'm tellin' you though...Exes and Ohs will be successful. I'm not going to stop until it is.

 

Exes and Ohs,

Kinsey

Just a Good Ole Update

Hi Y'all!!

I haven't written in about a week, but I was overwhelmed with what a great response I got on last week's post, "Healthy or Skinny?". I'm so happy to know that so many women agree that maybe the world of celebrities and models don't always depict the norm and don't always provide a healthy body image for women.

As you all know, women are all different shapes and sizes, and no two bodies are the same. Because of this, the basis of Exes and Ohs' designs are that they fit a wide range of shapes of women. I know there are some people that have said they won't wear my designs until I have molded cups and underwire. Well, I hate to tell those people, but they'll never wear one of my designs if that's the case. I have worked in a lingerie store for well over a year and I've learned what women want and what the market doesn't have. Lingerie made with molded cups and underwire fit a very small range of women. If your booty is bigger than your bust, you'll have a problem wearing a fitted chemise with molded cups. It'll be tight on bottom and the cups will gap at the top (trust me, I know from experience).Very few women are the same size all the way through (and if you are, I give you a major high five because finding lingerie must be a lot easier for you :)). I've even had women with breast implants and a tiny waist and booty come in that try on X-Large lingerie so it'll fit in the cup, but it obviously looks huge and terrible the rest of the way down. Therefore, my designs are made with non-molded cups to fit a wider range of shapes and sizes. They stretch to conform each different bust, and the panties have a stretch lace waistband so they don't cut in on the hips either. Buyers will have the opportunity to mix and match sizes or to sell their bras and panties separately. Women will have the chance to pick what fits their body, rather than what looks decent on them for what's available.

So, just to update on where I'm at in the process, I've sent out 4 spec sheets in the past couple of weeks! I realized that if I keep going at this pace, I won't have them all sent in for like another month. So, this week my goal is to pick up the pace and send out four more along with the fabric needed for each sample as well. I've also had my hang tags designed and I'll hopefully be getting them printed soon! I'm so excited because I have one tag for Ex designs and one tag for Oh designs. Each also has a love note printed on the inside. I wrote the Oh note to Travis of course, and the Ex is to a guy named K.D. :) My tags tell the story behind Exes and Ohs and offer a little intrigue as well.

After spec sheets are done and the production of patterns and samples are started, I'll begin the marketing aspect of everything! Any advice from anyone? I'm also planning on starting my website soon, hopefully to have it up and running by summer for Exes and Ohs pre-orders! How fun is that?!

I'm continuing to thank God every single day for this opportunity and for blessing me with such supportive family and friends. Travis has been a huge blessing in my life for 6 years now, and it becomes even more evident each day. He hasn't faltered in his support of me and has been my biggest fan. Any doubt I have, he easily washes it away. Blessed to have married him almost a year ago. And it's also no surprise The Travis Bralette Set has been my best seller so far.

I would love some prayers that the designs and samples come back as I have pictured them and that everything remains fun and exciting, and not crazy stressful.

Here are pictures of my hang tags! (I apologize that they aren't the best pictures...)

Stripes are Exes, Dots are Ohs

Thank you all so much for the love and support! Please share my blog as well if you enjoy it! :)

 

Exes and Ohs,

Kinsey